


my way

by manubibi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Thanks, Ward haters stay the hell away i mean it, also this is gonna be anti-SHIELD, and anti-Coulson, and anti-anyone in SHIELD thinking they have a moral high ground, and pro-telling it like it is, and this is pro-Kara making her own goddamn choices, if you can't handle canon facts do not read, if you hate Ward KEEP AWAY, meta-fic, pro-Ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manubibi/pseuds/manubibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set right after the events of Avengers: Age of Ultron (so spoilers are gonna be here, also for the episode "The Dirty Half Dozen"), while SHIELD is called to clean the mess up - supposedly, since they cleaned up after the events of Thor: The Dark World. Kara is really not okay with Grant having left her to SHIELD, not much because she doesn't like it but because he chose for her. And she's gonna tell him exactly what she thinks about that. At least, that's according to me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my way

She still doesn't believe it. She has been with this group of people, with Phil Coulson, and with this team of people who treat her like damaged goods, with people who look at her like she is a little, precious broken thing beyond repair. With people who seem to have given up on her. And Coulson wants to make her believe that she will be alright here. He seems to be less open about showing exactly what he thinks of her, and still she does not trust him, not fully, not enough to believe she will be alright, that she will be herself here, on this plane (or "Bus" as they call it), in this "family" which feels the complete opposite of home to her.  _Family_  is supposed to accept all of you. And yet she's the oddity, the woman always wearing a mask, who might one time stab them in the back, the one who requires too much effort to be around. They happen to mention brainwashing casually and she can feel their eyes burn towards her, like they are walking on eggshells around her.  
She doesn't believe how apparently Grant told Coulson that this is right for her, at first. This is not her place, this is not where she belongs. She does not know where she does belong, but she knows this is not it. And now she is angry. Angry because Grant decided that for her without asking, without telling her even. He just left her there thinking it was right for her. Probably throwing a pity party for himself. Leaving her there like a puppy.  
But nobody asked  _her_. Nobody thought of what  _she_  would want for herself. And she sure is not a puppy. She can fix herself. She can find herself on her own and she is tired of this treatment already. Like having had her memories wiped out and being used for someone else's purpose was enough to take her will away, for someone else to make choices for her like she was still a child. And she  _needs_  to tell that to him. Because she can bet he thinks she would need these people when she clearly doesn't. It's her own path to follow. It's her own  _choice_  to make.  
  
And then she does one of the things she perfectly remembers how to do. She waits for them all to sleep during a clean-up mission, a mission that's not her own, something she never subscribed to, and then sneaks out. She's lied to get to this point, but in the end she does not care. She can bet that nobody will really run after her. Not Jemma Simmons, not Phil Coulson, not Melinda May. They are probably going to think it's one less bother for them. They are probably going to care for other problems. That's fine.  
She's learnt a lot from Grant while they were together. She's learnt how to track someone down even when they are laying low. She's learnt to stalk people. She's learnt to hide in plain sight, hide even from him.  
So it should be no wonder that she finds Grant within a couple of weeks. He is sitting at a little restaurant in Bellevue, Tennessee, apparently spying on some of the Hydra agents left after the sweep the Avengers have carried out until a month or so ago - before Stark had the brilliant idea to make a complete mess of  _everything_  - and she knows he is too focused on that to talk. She knows because she knows him better than he thinks she does.  
So after following him - and them - to a private area where he proceeded to mess them up and steal as much info as he could, she seems to appear from thin air while he walks out as careful as ever. She's right in front of him, angry, and with her fists clenched, changing her appearance from that of an anonymous blonde to her own again.  
"Kara?" He wonders, surprised. "What are you doing here? Are you here with Coulson?"  
Her jaws clench as well, and she narrows her eyes for a brief moment.  
"Do you really think Coulson and his team would be here when Sokovia happened?" She replies, raising an eyebrow. "You're not stupid."  
He flinches. Of course  _SHIELD_  would still be cleaning up and handling that business.  
"You've come all the way across to find me?" He then asks, frowning. "I thought they'd take care of you. Better than I ever could, anyway."  
  
Kara takes a couple of steps and faces him, really angry now.  
" _I don't need_  a bunch of judgmental assholes taking care of me. I don't want them nor need them. Besides, they've got their hands full with figuring Skye out, and they didn't care for me anyway, they only pretended to. The only person who didn't was Bobbi Morse, and she's not there. You're the other person who didn't define me by what happened to me, Grant. And still you think I'd be better off with someone else?  _Who are you_  to decide that?" She lashes out, but calmly.  
"Kara..." He starts, raising his hands in front of his chest.  
"No, I'm not done. I've been damaged and stripped off of my identity and used, yes, but I know who I am now, and I get to choose what I should do, and I _choose_  to be with you, and help you. So whatever bullshit pity party you've got going on with yourself, whatever  _lone_  vigilante act you're pulling, quit it now, because I chose to be by your side, and you had no right to make that call for me," she continues, getting closer to him. Grant looks at her surprised by her vivacity, but then again she does seem to be very energetic. And with her ideas clear; probably this is one of the first times she sees her knowing exactly what she wants.  
"I only did it because I'm not good, okay? I'm not good, and I'm beyond forgiveness for anybody, I didn't do it to get rid of you. It's the contrary, actually," he explains, sighing.  
" _Who_  says you're not good? The same people who kept insulting you behind your back and  _in front of me_  thinking that shit-talking you would make me see you from a different point of view? The same people who go around accusing you of murder when I  _know_  Skye shot a brainwashed kid and never even had the courage to own up to it, when they belong to an organization who kills people and manipulates people like you and me all the time? The same people who thought it would be fair to exchange your freedom with fucking with your brain like that was a reward of sorts?" She presses, hitting his chest harder and harder with a finger. "I'll take a broken person who's honest enough to admit they've been wrong over some self-righteous assholes who pretend they never fucked up any day, Grant."  
  
There's a long silence, between them, while Grant processes all of that. The hot, suffocating breeze blows through her free flowing hair, while she stares into him. Knowing she made her point, she nods.  
"I made my choice, and neither you nor  _SHIELD_  can change that. I can help you take Hydra out, if you don't remember I've got several things to make them pay for," she adds to the stunned man who then nods.  
"Well, seems you figured it out," Grant finally observes, scratching his head. "I'm sorry for leaving you behind, then."  
"Yeah, you'd better be sorry. And never decide  _anything_  that important for me ever again," she replies harshly, but then her expression softens just a little. "So, who's the next target? I collected a lot of data while looking for you, if you're interested."  
She grins, bumping her fist on his arm.   
Grant keeps looking at her, and then gives her one of his smiles, one of the happy ones.   
To hear from someone that he is not unforgivable, that he is not a monster... maybe he had hoped for her to look for him all along, no matter what he told himself.

**Author's Note:**

> This came to my mind right after I finished watching The Dirty Half Dozen, which is an episode that satisfied me for some reasons (Ward calling Coulson out on selling him to Christian and speaking out about the shit we've been repeating for a year now) and left me deeply unsatisfied for other reasons (Ward saying he's beyond redemption and Coulson saying absolutely nothing against it, May comparing her one-day long trauma to a freakin' lifetime of trauma, basically everybody dismissing Grant's words and motivations and calling him a murderer and shit like that), so well, I thought if Ward isn't gonna be with the team anymore he can be a vigilante with Kara because they make an awesome team. But she needs to whip his ass about leaving her behind, even though his intentions are good, wtf.  
> That's not cool, Grant. Jeez this show is a MESS. Anyway, this is a pro-Ward fic. If you have hatred to leave, just keep it to yourself because I'm done discussing with people who don't wanna listen.  
> Peace out.


End file.
